Fit In Real Life

Please Join Me At 'You'd Be So Pretty If...'

Hi, everybody:

 

When I posted last week about my new blog over at You'd Be So Pretty If, I guess I wasn't very clear, was I? I've been getting lots of emails from readers, asking me if I'll still be updating here at Fit In Real Life. The short answer is no, but you'll be able to access old Fit In Real Life posts over at You'd Be So Pretty If.

 

My apologies for being unclear! I hope you'll come over and read me in my new location.

 

Thanks!

Time For A Change

Happy New Year, everybody!

 

Last week, I mentioned that Fit In Real Life would be undergoing a big change. I want to thank all of you who've faithfully read and commented on my adventures in maintaining the weight I lost as Shape magazine's 2007 Weight-Loss Diary columnist. I've learned so much from all of you and I've appreciated everything that you've shared with me -- both here and privately. That's why I hope you'll all join me in my new venture at You'd Be So Pretty If...

 

There, I'll be blogging about body image and the example we set for the girls in our lives -- and for each other. We'll still be talking about eating, exercise and living a healthy lifestyle, of course. But we'll also be talking about reaching a place of peace with our bodies and about knowing that our decisions and comments -- the way we treat our bodies -- have an effect on our daughters, our nieces, our little sisters, our neighbors and each other.

 

I'm excited about this new chapter and I look forward to seeing you there! 

Forbidden!

Today, I'm thinking about food -- specifically, about eating anything I want without giving a thought to anything other than the fact that I want it. Still with me? That was a little confusing, I know. Let me try to explain.

 

I witnessed an interesting experiment of sorts here yesterday. After almost five long years of various orthodontic treatments, my 12-year-old daughter had her braces removed (I can't stop staring at her gorgeous smile, but that's another story...). As we checked out at the doctor's office, the receptionist handed her a congratulatory bag filled with the "forbidden fruit" of orthodontic patients -- Tootsie Rolls, Starburst, gum, M&Ms and other assorted sticky, hard treats. I wish I'd taken a picture of the way her eyes lit up when she saw that bag and realized that her days of denying herself were over.

 

She'd broken into it already by the time we got in the car and she happily gorged on the way home. But she soon abandoned the bag and said, "That stuff's kind of gross."

 

The whole experience got me thinking about the concept of forbidden foods, and how denying ourselves what we want can really backfire. I had a similar experience at the end of writing the Weight-Loss Diary column for Shape magazine. After 12 months of healthy eating, tough gym workouts, monthly weigh-ins and photos, I just didn't want to think about any of it anymore. I wanted to eat whatever I wanted, when I wanted.

 

So I did. And guess what? I soon found myself thinking, "This stuff's kind of gross."

 

Over time, I've realized that I feel better when I stick to the healthy eating habits I learned during my Shape year. But now, I've incorporated the flexibility and freedom to fully enjoy a treat when I want it. No more forbidden foods means no more fixation on them, too. Staying at a healthy weight is a much more intuitive process when I simply listen to what my body is telling me. Watching my daughter experience that bag of candy was a great reminder that sometimes, when we repeatedly tell ourselves we can't have something, we want it all the more -- even if we don't want it.

 

 

 

 

The Sum of Small Decisions

This weekend, I experienced a lovely reminder of a valuable lesson I learned while writing Shape magazine's Weight-Loss Diary column: I am the sum of the small decisions I make every day.

 

When you're trying to lose a significant amount of weight -- in my case, 25 pounds -- it can seem intimidating and near impossible when you look at the big picture. But when you break it down, pound by pound, those little goals suddenly feel much more achievable.

 

During the weight-loss process, those little choices had huge impact. Should I eat a burger or grilled chicken for lunch? Do I want one cookie or two? Should I add an extra five minutes to my workout or stop now? Each of those small decisions -- those little choices -- had a significant impact on the big picture.

 

Now, for the lovely reminder part.

 

If you read last Thursday's post, I wrote about a writing colleague named Lori Hall Steele and the efforts of a group of her writing friends to raise money to help pay her mortgage and medical bills as she fights a significant battle with ALS. The original challenge was for each person in our writing community to send $25 -- not a huge amount of money by any measure. Not only did the community respond, but because of the publicity generated through blogging, press releases, stories and other media coverage, as of yesterday, the effort had raised thousands of dollars for Lori.

 

Amazing, isn't it?

 

Who'd have thought that each "little choice" to send $25 and write about a colleague's situation would add up to such a hefty sum to help her out?

 

I hope you'll remember Lori's story when you're faced with a task that feels too big -- whether it's losing weight, finding time to exercise and eat healthy, or simply learning to love yourself, just as you are. We are the sum of our small choices.

 

Make some good ones today.

 

If you'd like to learn more about Lori or make a donation, please visit www.savelorishouse.com.

 

Appreciating Good Health...and Friendship

During this morning's walk, as I pushed my body hard up a good-sized hill, my mind didn't run its usual litany of complaints about pain or feeling tired or even "Why am I doing this to myself?" thoughts. All I could think about was Lori.

 

I'm talking about a writing colleague named Lori Hall Steele. We're about the same age, both moms and both freelance writers accustomed to forging our own paths. But in September, 2007, Lori lost the ability to move her feet. Soon, she couldn't move her arms. Not long after that, she was confined to a wheelchair, still somewhat able to use her hands to type. Now, that ability is gone and Lori is no longer able to work -- her sole means of support for her and her seven-year-old son, Jackson.

 

At first, doctors thought Lori simply had Lyme Disease, a sometimes debilitating tick-borne illness. Now, however, they've made a diagnosis of ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) and Lori -- confined to a hospital bed -- is dependent upon a Bi-Pap breathing machine. Today, with mounting medical bills, Lori is just days away from losing her home to foreclosure.

 

I can't imagine what Lori is going through, but I can close my eyes and imagine what it might feel like to feel my health slipping away as my child watched. The very thought takes my breath away.

 

In situations like this, most of us wish we could do something, but it's hard to know what to do. A group of Lori's kind-hearted writing colleagues have gathered forces to try to help. Here are a few links to their efforts:

 

www.savelorishouse.com/

 

www.hallsteele.blogspot.com

 

If you're able to do so, I hope you'll consider making a donation to help Lori. If it's not something you can do right now, I hope you'll take a moment today to appreciate your body and its good health. At the end of the day, there's nothing more important than health, family and friendship.

 

I'm thinking of you, Lori.

 

 

 

 

So Much For Planning...

Shhh...what's that sound? Oh, that's right -- it's silence. It's been so long since I've heard it that I almost didn't recognize it.

In case you hadn't guessed, today is the first day of school. To me, the first day of school always feels like the real New Year's Day. It was always a new start, a clean slate, a chance to re-invent yourself. As a mom, it's another chance to do it right...to be more organized, do more planning and generally control the chaos.

I had those grand plans...until this morning, that is.

I got up early, had my coffee and read my paper. Then, I went to wake the kids, only to find my son's beloved fish floating face-up at the top of the tank. It's the boy's first day in a brand-new school and the fish picks today to check out. When I saw that -- and the look on my son's face -- I burst into tears. But nothing prepared me for the gut-wrenching moment when my daughter walked over to her brother and hugged him. After a summer of fights and bickering and disagreements, that heartfelt display of sisterly affection was almost too much to take.

So we spent a good part of our getting-ready-for-school time talking about the circle of life and how important it is to have all that we need to thrive. In the end, he went off to school with a smile and the promise of a new fish.

Life's like that, isn't it? Our best plans get sidetracked by the unexpected and sometimes what matters most is that we just be there, in that moment. There was no orderly march to the bus stop to enjoy a few moments of amiable chatting before the bus arrived. Instead, it was a mad dash -- with my daughter attempting a most comical application of lip gloss while running -- to the stop, where I found the bus driver, already waiting, looking at me and tapping her watch.

As for those grand plans? We'll try again tomorrow.

Shop 'Til You Drop

This'll be a short post today; my husband and I both have the day off from work so we're taking off for what's become an annual ritual -- back-to-school outlet shopping. We make a day of it: We enjoy the three-hour drive to the outlets, load up on great bargains and eat at a funky local diner that we all love.

Of course, an all-day shopping extravaganza will leave me with no time for a workout. Apparently, though, power shopping can still burn some calories. The key, as with all calorie-burning exercise, is to keep moving. Eating well while on the road is another challenge, but I'm starting the day with a healthy breakfast of oatmeal, fruit and a protein shake, and loading up the car with healthy snacks.

Off to hunt for bargains...and hopefully, some new workout clothes and a great new pair of sneakers to ease my hip and knee pain while running. See you tomorrow!

Searching For a Yummy Memory

Did you completely relate to Roxanne's post about emotional eating yesterday? I sure did. In fact, I'm having an emotional eating episode myself today -- but it's not quite what you might think.

When I was a little girl and it was a special occasion, my mother used to make her raisin squares -- a yummy sweet pastry topped with powdered sugar. I loved to watch her roll out the pie crust and to smell the sweet aroma in the kitchen. And, if I was really good, she'd let me use the sifter to dust the top of the finished pan with powdered sugar. I felt so grown-up and important. Talk about a sense memory!

Today marks the fifth anniversary of the last time I hugged my mom and felt her hug me back. She was going in for a fairly serious, but routine surgery the next morning. I'm sure you can guess where this is going. She developed complications immediately following the surgery, lapsed into a coma and died two weeks later.

It's a hard day for me. She wasn't just a mother, she was a friend. And when I'm missing her most, my thoughts often turn to food. Not the empty emotional kind of eating we sometimes use to fill a void, but the need to connect with her through foods she used to make. Today, I want to make those raisin squares. I haven't tasted them since she's been gone.

But I don't have the recipe. She never gave me a copy (though I have many of her other recipes). I've called my dad, who has gone through every one of her old cookbooks, looking for the handwritten notes she often stuffed in the pages. I've called my aunt, who could only come up with a recipe for currant tarts. I've been wasting far too much time on the Internet, looking for recipes that might be the one. All I know is that it involved applesauce, so I've been able to eliminate most that way.

So it's become a bit of a quest. I've decided I'm just going to buy some applesauce, raisins, powdered sugar and pie crust mix and see if I can wing it. If I'm lucky, she'll be somewhere watching and guiding me to just the right mix of ingredients...or having a good laugh at my attempt.

Either way, I'm sure I'll get what I need -- to think of her, smile and remember.

How about you? Got any strong food memories of loved ones gone or of childhood days?

Moving Beyond Goals

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before."

-- Kurt Vonnegut

It's been a bad week, people.

My motivation has disappeared. My normally well-planned schedule is all over the place. I've only managed to take one dance class and get in one good walk. I've done no strength training at all. And my healthy eating goals...well, let's just say they haven't been met. Why, you ask?

Here's the truth: I don't know.

Maybe I'm just feeling the lazy summer blues. Maybe it's the fact that after pushing hard to finish the book before school got out, my mind and body need some well-deserved down time. Or maybe I just really wanted to go out for ice cream this week -- um, twice.

I've talked a lot about how great it's felt to be done with the pressure of trying to meet a goal weight under the glare of a national spotlight. And I've been thinking lately about how that very public pressure motivated me to stick with a grueling exercise program and clean eating plan for a full year. In two months, I'll mark the one-year anniversary of finishing the Weight-Loss Diary column with Shape. Since I don't own a scale, I can't tell you what my actual weight is and truthfully, it doesn't matter to me. I'm still wearing the clothes I wore at the end of the column -- and buying new clothes in that four-sizes-smaller size -- so that's really all I need to know that I'm maintaining. However...

When I have weeks like this one, I do start to panic a bit about getting back on track -- and then I worry that my panic means I'm not yet confident that I've fully committed to the healthy changes I've made in my life. Does that mean that -- like the Kurt Vonnegut quote says -- I'm no wiser than I was before my Shape experience?

I wouldn't go that far. When my healthy plans go astray now, I can pinpoint exactly what I need to do to get back on course. I have the knowledge I need, but no longer have the pressure to do it. It's my old nemesis rearing its ugly head: Accountability to myself.

I know what it took to get that weight off and I don't want to go through it again. I've been reading a lot of blogs lately where people are talking about their weight-loss goals and how the idea of meeting those goals motivates them to move forward. Personally, I'm struggling to find a meaningful goal that'll keep me committed to healthy eating and exercise during weeks like this one. "I want to maintain my weight" doesn't exactly have that same exciting, measurable edge, does it?

I'm hoping that adding more activities like my new dance class -- physical activity that I love just because I love it -- will help. And as nerdy as it sounds, now that my new kitchen is almost done, I'm also planning to spend some time developing healthy recipes that my family will actually eat. Above all, though, I'm going to work hard at reminding myself of how much better I feel and how much healthier I am when I'm eating right and staying active...and that, in the end, a fit body is the result of an ongoing journey, not a destination.

Fitness in Chaos

While I've never been known as the world's greatest housekeeper, I like a certain sense of order around me. I function best when the dishes are done, dinner is planned, beds are made and the laundry is moving along in its never-ending cycle. There's a rhythm to my days in which household tasks, working in my office and shuttling kids off to school and other activities all blend together in a lovely symphony of which I'm the conductor.

It seems I've dropped my wand.

I haven't used my stove in almost four days now. We're eating off paper plates at every meal. A seemingly endless pile of wet towels and bathing suits grows in the corner. Everywhere I walk, I have to step over something or someone. What has brought me to this state of undoing, you ask?

It's a simple equation: Summer + kitchen remodel = Total chaos

It's awfully hard to whip up a healthy culinary masterpiece when your stove sits, unplugged, in the middle of the kitchen. My dishwasher remains idle in the corner, severed from its water line. My kids can run circles around the refrigerator at the moment, my new over-the-range microwave is currently residing in the basement and my living room is full of new kitchen cabinets stacked in a cheerleader-style pyramid. Add to this two home-for-the-summer children who constantly want snacks and to go to the beach, and you can see why things aren't exactly running smoothly around here at the moment.

I can endure it because I know it's temporary. And I'm (sort of) enjoying the challenge of creating the healthiest meals I can without a stove. I've got a new respect for sandwiches, salads and my trusty old grill...and for the 45-minute walk that gets me away from all this for a bit. This is, after all, the "real life" part of "Fit in Real Life." Besides, I'm almost looking forward to cooking again.

Almost.