Fit In Real Life

Happy, Healthy 2009!

Since this is a holiday and technically, I shouldn't be at my desk, I figured I'd just stop in for a moment to wish you all a healthy and happy 2009. While I'm not a huge fan of resolutions, I hope you've all had some time to reflect on where you've been, where you're going and how you're going to get there. For me, reflection, planning and intention are huge parts of my commitment to taking the best care I can of the body I've got.

 

Next week, a big change is coming to Fit In Real Life. I hope you'll all join me as I kick off a new journey. In the meantime, happy New Year to all!

My Kids Don't Want To Be Seen With Me Because...

I got a new pedometer for Christmas and I'm now addicted to wearing it everywhere. Really.

 

"Mom, you're not wearing that thing out, are you?" my daughter asked as we headed out for a day of post-Christmas shopping. It does look a little dorky, I'll admit, so I compromised by pulling my sweater down over it.

 

Dorky or not, I'm having lots of fun with the thing -- and annoying everybody by asking them, "What's my step count up to?" as I lift up the hem of my shirt. The good news is that it's pretty easy to reach my goal of 10,000 daily steps on the days I walk or work out. But I took a day off from working out yesterday and saw that my daily count plummeted to a mere 4,900 (in my defense, I worked at my computer most of the day, so not a lot of stepping there).

 

I'm sure I'll get tired of monitoring my steps eventually, but for now, it's a great visual reminder that little changes add up. The first day I wore it, I was about 200 steps from my goal and my son said, "You're not going to make it."

 

"Oh yeah?" I countered. "Watch this."

 

A mere 10 laps or so around the kitchen island later and I was easily over goal. He laughed at my antics, but my heart was pounding from that little burst of intensity.

 

It's all about the little changes.

 

Best wishes to all for a healthy, happy 2009!

 

 

I Want to Hug Oprah!

My January issue of Shape magazine -- featuring Aury Wallington, the 2009 Weight-Loss Diary columnist -- arrived in the mail recently and as I read her story, I reflected on my own weight-loss journey. Getting to goal weight with the support of my expert team was a tough, but well-worth-doing endeavor. Not for the number on the scale, mind you, but for what I learned about the importance of taking care of myself. Truthfully, life feels so much better when your body feels good and is operating on all cylinders. I'm sure that anyone who has ever faced a health problem -- or watched a family member face one -- knows just what I mean.

 

In the year-and-a-half since I reached goal weight, I've learned a few ugly truths about keeping the weight off. One, it's not about expensive gym memberships, fancy diet foods or any of the other "trappings" of the weight-loss industry. It's about commitment, pure and simple. Two, it requires a certain selfishness and by that, I mean I've learned that I have to make my commitment to healthy living (making time to exercise, planning and preparing healthy meals, etc.) a priority. It sounds simple, but it's an extremely difficult mental shift for many women, who are used to putting the needs of family, job, community, etc. before their own. Not only is it hard for me, but there's a lot of guilt involved, too.

 

All of this is exactly the reason why I just want to give Oprah Winfrey a giant hug. I know people have mixed feelings about her, but when I read her story, in which she chronicles her feelings about getting back up to 200 pounds, I just wanted to let her know that I understand. Because I do.

 

It's easy for life to get in the way of our best intentions. And for women, it seems, it's easy for our obligations, our guilt and our "shoulds" to get in the way of doing what's best for us. Will that ever change? I don't know that it will for me. But I'm aware of it now and when I feel myself slipping down the spiral of taking care of everyone but myself, I know it's time to put me first -- even for just a half-hour.

 

How will you take care of you today?

 

 

 

Chicken or Egg?

No, I'm not talking protein in this post -- though both chicken and egg are great sources. Instead, I'm talking about the age-old concept of what comes first, particularly when it comes to healthy habits. See, I've noticed something...when I'm working out regularly, it's easy to stick to healthy foods. And when I'm eating healthy foods, it somehow feels easier to stick to a regular workout plan.

 

So the question I'm asking today is -- which comes first?

 

With holiday stress upon me and work deadlines pressing -- including the final copy edit on my book -- I've abandoned a few of my healthy habits and my body is feeling the difference. I'm not sleeping well, I'm tired and some might even say I'm cranky. I didn't mean for it to happen. But a missed workout here and an extra cookie there and all of a sudden, I'm feeling blech. Still, that's the beauty of knowing what my body feels like at top form -- I know immediately when something's off.

 

I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to answer the chicken-and-egg question, but I started the morning with a healthy breakfast and -- with the book manuscript out the door -- I'm about to leave for a fitness class. I guess in the end it doesn't matter what comes first. It only matters that I remember the value of taking care of my health.

 

 

The Day After

Now that I've woken up from my turkey-induced nap, I want to respond to a comment Elissa made in response to my "healthy holiday eating strategy" post. Here's what she said:

 

"I don't know why people have to suck the fun out of Thanksgiving by giving us the calorie count of everything that we could possibly stick in our mouths. I understand that this was made so that people would be aware of what they're eating, but still... Thanksgiving is just one of those days where I don't care about diets and whatnot, and I eat what I like. I don't go crazy, but I enjoy every bite and I don't think about counting the calories. It's just one day. How much can it hurt?"

 

Elissa, I want you to know that I completely agree with you and I really appreciate you making that point. Holidays -- especially those during which we gather with family and friends we rarely see -- shouldn't be about counting calories. Who wants to be so worried about what we're going to eat next that we can't pay attention to what our beloved grandma or toddler nephew is saying?

 

However -- come on, you knew there was a however coming -- nutritional information on our favorite holiday foods is valuable because it helps those trying to lose or maintain weight to keep an eye on the big picture. It was my turn to host Thanksgiving this year and even after I'd packaged up leftovers for my guests, I was still left with a colossal amount of food -- especially desserts, since many of my guests brought a dessert with them. Because I'd just had that buzz-kill reminder from Melissa of exactly how much damage could be wrought by desserts, I declared the next day "trash day." Even though I could hear my mother's voice in my head -- "What? You're throwing away perfectly good food?" -- I did it knowing that it was the healthiest option for my family.

 

My strategy? After a dinner of leftovers, I wrapped the cooked turkey in packages to use in dinners throughout the month -- it's great protein! The brownies were cut into small pieces, packaged individually and frozen -- they're great lunchbox treats for the kids. The pumpkin pie (also known as my personal nemesis)? Sadly, that had to go. I dumped it in the trash -- and, yes, I covered it with all sorts of disgusting trash items.

 

My point -- and I do have one -- is that I enjoyed Thanksgiving with my extended family and didn't worry about what or how much I was eating that day. But the day after? As I sorted through my leftovers, I reflected on Melissa's nutritional information and used that to remind myself that it's not a crime to get tempting leftovers out of the house.

 

I hope you all enjoyed a blessed and happy Thanksgiving -- with no calorie counting!

License to Chill

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the connection between my mind and my body. I've thought about it in terms of body image -- how the way I think about my body affects the way I feel as I move through my day -- while researching and writing my book (on sale April 13th, people!). But I've also been thinking about stress and how stress feels in my body. It's got me contemplating something that I've often considered, but usually quickly dismiss: Yoga.

 

I think you all know me well enough by now to know that I tend to dismiss the "woo woo" in life. The thought of sitting in a room chanting makes me want to run for the hills. My inability to sit still is legendary. But I'm starting to notice some ill effects of stress in my body: A nightly headache. Tight shoulders. Lower back pain. Insomnia. Clearly, I need to address this.

 

I've had a lively discussion with a few writer friends recently, all of whom are regular yoga practitioners. They claim that not only do their bodies feel better, but they've strengthened the connection between their minds and their bodies. Some have learned to use yoga breathing techniques to help them relax when they're stressed at their desks. Others have said that the heightened awareness that yoga brings has them brimming with ideas (lack of ideas can be a real problem for writers). I have to admit I'm intrigued.

 

Another experience that's got me thinking about all this is a fitness class I took a few weeks ago. It combined cardio and core training, but at the end of class, the instructor did what I can only call a guided imagery kind of thing -- we all laid down on the floor, she dimmed the lights and took us through a breathing exercise while she talked. Maybe it was because I had somebody telling me what to imagine, but I found it fairly easy to play along and I sure did feel relaxed for the rest of the day. My point, and I do have one, is that maybe I do have the ability to connect my mind and body, if I just focus.

 

So yesterday, I did it -- I researched yoga studios and found one that's close enough to get to, but far enough away where I won't run into anyone I know (no public shaming!). They offer an introductory package of three classes (no long-term commitment!) and a class that's designed for absolute beginners (no looking like a dork among experts!). Though I find the thought really uncomfortable, I'm going to give it a try and, if all goes according to plan, I'll take my first class next week.

 

Tune in for that report!

 

On Tuesday, Melissa will be here to tell us how to get through Thanksgiving without having to break out the elastic-waist pants.

Catastrophe, Stress & Motivation

Sorry about the missing post on Tuesday, but when I woke up that morning and turned on my computer -- nothing but a blinking cursor. All day. The diagnosis? Catastrophic hard drive failure.

Breathe with me now...

Yes, I had an article due the next day that I needed to work on. Yes, I had JUST saved the final version of my book manuscript the day before. And, yes, when the computer goes down, the emails don't stop.

It was actually an interesting experiment. As the IT guy sat in my office, trying to figure out what was happening, I found myself in the kitchen -- with my hand in the kids' Halloween bags. It was absolutely mindless consumption of chocolate. Because really, what can consuming multiple mini Snickers bars really do for a writer on deadline whose computer has kicked it?

Nothing.

But I was nervous and mad and upset. Instead of punching a wall or doing jumping jacks, I chose to deal with my nervous energy by swallowing it. And that, I think, is very telling. As things get busy and stressful in my life, it's more important than ever that I create a plan for dealing with my feelings -- one that doesn't involve chocolate. Maybe gum will work.

Anyway, that's the story behind the missing post.  As a bonus, here's Melissa with a great tip on getting motivated to exercise.  

The 10 Minute Rule

This is a simple way to get over a big "I don't want to exercise" hurdle. When you just aren't in the mood to exercise, the thought of climbing steps for 40 minutes isn't intriguing or you look at the treadmill and feel your legs go weak...tell yourself you will be happy with 10 minutes of exercise. That's enough time to get your body warmed up, get the blood flowing and to start feeling good. Nine out of 10 times, you'll find some sort of motivation and keep going. Then, you'll feel even better about yourself for going above and beyond. 

Worst case scenario? You really only do 10 minutes and burn off that little candy bar left over from Halloween -- and don't eat the other two that were staring you in the face before the gym. 

Thanks, Melissa, for the motivation!

Do Diets Really Work?

I came across a most interesting observation recently and now, I can't stop thinking about it. Here's the line that I read: "Nothing can add more pounds to a person than a diet can."

 

It's one of those lines that the more you think about it, the more profound it seems.

 

I never really stopped to consider the psychology of deprivation until I was actively trying to lose weight. When you're told that you can't have something, the reaction of most people is that they can't stop thinking about it. Think about a toddler who's told no and throws a full-out hour-long tantrum.

 

"Cutting calories" -- telling  yourself that you have to eat less -- often creates a situation of fear: When can I eat again? Who can stop thinking about food when they're worried about when the next time they'll get some will be?

 

For me, the psychological shift came when I began working with a dietitian who taught me that while calories absolutely count in the overall picture of weight loss, not all calories are created equal. Learning to tell myself that I could eat as much as I wanted of certain healthy foods -- like veggies -- helped put my mind in a place of surplus. Telling yourself that you can have as much as you want is about as far from the concept of "diet" as you can get.

 

Since I'm not a gal who likes to be told what to do, the "diet" mentality just doesn't work for me.

 

It's a subtle shift in perspective, but learning to say that you're "eating healthy" instead of "dieting" might be just the trick to tip the scales in your favor, so to speak.

 

I'll leave you with this thought from the ever-wise Melissa as Halloween approaches. If you eat 10 mini-candy bars on a random Tuesday, you know full well that your body is going to pay a price. When you're tempted to raid the Halloween candy bucket, she says, remember this: Your body is not going to cut you a break because you're wearing a big honking clown nose while you do it.

 

Wise words.

Fear (Part Two)

Well, this is it...the end of my look at the five biggest challenges I've faced in maintaining my weight loss this year. Yesterday, I talked about fear of failure and how it creates a level of pressure that can be uncomfortable to live with. Today, though, I need to mention a fear that's sometimes even bigger. I'm talking about the fear of success.

 

I know it sounds a little nutty, but stay with me.

 

When you set a goal and successfully reach it -- in any area of your life -- you've reached a point of no return. In some ways, failing to reach a goal is a very comfortable place to be. As in, "I tried my best to lose 25 pounds, but I just couldn't do it." Oh, well. What do you usually hear from those around you? "Well, you tried...you did your best...you gave it your all." Sure, you feel the momentary sting of failing to reach your goal, but then that sort of fades and you're left with the comfortable place you know. Maybe it's not where you want to be, but you know it and therefore, it's not a scary place to be.

 

Success is a different story, though. When you reach that goal, you've moved to a whole new place and fear sets in when you realize that you're expected to do what it takes to stay there. Not reaching a goal is one thing, but to reach it and then go back? That's a whole different kind of failure.

 

I've experienced this on a couple of levels this year. The first, of course, is the weight loss. I lost 26 pounds during my year-long program and I've created the expectation for myself that I'll stay there. That's scary because as anyone who's ever lost weight knows, it's going to take work. The weight doesn't magically stay off.

 

So, I'm forced to ask myself: Do I want to do the work to keep the weight off? Each day, do I want to make the conscious choices about the foods I eat and the activities I do, knowing that each one plays a role in my long-term success? I've upped the ante for myself, so to speak, and each day, I have to decide whether I want to pay the price.

 

It's a principle that extends beyond weight loss.

 

I've been a magazine writer for years, but in the past year, I sold and wrote a book (due out this spring). It's been a long-time career goal of mine and I finally made it happen. Well, guess what? I'm already thinking about book number two and how I can repeat my first success. I've upped the ante professionally, too, and have to continue to make work choices that will get me further down the path I want to go.

 

You see, each time you set and meet a goal, no matter what it is, you raise that bar just a little bit. You're forced to leave behind the comfort of the familiar old you and push yourself to keep going beyond. It's scary and exhilarating all at the same time. And that's where I am.

 

I want to thank everyone who supported me through this past year, especially the faithful readers of this blog. It's meant a lot to me. 

Fear (Part One)

I'm rounding out my list of top five challenges to weight maintenance with a challenge so big it needs to be broken into two parts -- fear. Specifically, fear of failure.

 

Fear of failure was huge for me during the weight-loss process itself, especially because I attempted to lose weight in such a public way. I was troubled by the thought that I could do everything right and still not lose weight. Thankfully, that didn't happen. It wasn't easy, but by eating well, working out and addressing some of the triggers in my life, the weight came off -- slowly -- over time.

 

Keeping the weight off is a different process. Because I'm no longer actively trying to lose, there's no real set program to follow. Maintenance is about monitoring the scale and I've made the conscious decision not to use a scale (I'm using the clothes-still-fit method). With no program and no precise method of measurement, I feel like I'm winging it a little bit.

 

Of course, losing weight so publicly also brings pressure to keep it off. I know there are people who expect me to put the weight back on. There's no shortage of statistics about the number of people who re-gain all the weight they lost -- and usually put on more to boot. It can make you feel like the odds are really against you.

 

With all that swirling around in my head, it's hard sometimes to just stay focused on doing what I know is best for me -- healthy meals and snacks, regular workouts and taking time to relax. But I've come to see that the process of maintaining my weight is similar to many of the other challenges I face in life. The best way to handle it? Control the controllables, and forget about the rest.

 

At the end of the day, I ask myself two questions: Did I eat well today? Did I move my body today?

 

If the answer to those questions is yes, then I judge myself a success -- no matter what the scale might say.