Fear (Part Two)

Well, this is it...the end of my look at the five biggest challenges I've faced in maintaining my weight loss this year. Yesterday, I talked about fear of failure and how it creates a level of pressure that can be uncomfortable to live with. Today, though, I need to mention a fear that's sometimes even bigger. I'm talking about the fear of success.

 

I know it sounds a little nutty, but stay with me.

 

When you set a goal and successfully reach it -- in any area of your life -- you've reached a point of no return. In some ways, failing to reach a goal is a very comfortable place to be. As in, "I tried my best to lose 25 pounds, but I just couldn't do it." Oh, well. What do you usually hear from those around you? "Well, you tried...you did your best...you gave it your all." Sure, you feel the momentary sting of failing to reach your goal, but then that sort of fades and you're left with the comfortable place you know. Maybe it's not where you want to be, but you know it and therefore, it's not a scary place to be.

 

Success is a different story, though. When you reach that goal, you've moved to a whole new place and fear sets in when you realize that you're expected to do what it takes to stay there. Not reaching a goal is one thing, but to reach it and then go back? That's a whole different kind of failure.

 

I've experienced this on a couple of levels this year. The first, of course, is the weight loss. I lost 26 pounds during my year-long program and I've created the expectation for myself that I'll stay there. That's scary because as anyone who's ever lost weight knows, it's going to take work. The weight doesn't magically stay off.

 

So, I'm forced to ask myself: Do I want to do the work to keep the weight off? Each day, do I want to make the conscious choices about the foods I eat and the activities I do, knowing that each one plays a role in my long-term success? I've upped the ante for myself, so to speak, and each day, I have to decide whether I want to pay the price.

 

It's a principle that extends beyond weight loss.

 

I've been a magazine writer for years, but in the past year, I sold and wrote a book (due out this spring). It's been a long-time career goal of mine and I finally made it happen. Well, guess what? I'm already thinking about book number two and how I can repeat my first success. I've upped the ante professionally, too, and have to continue to make work choices that will get me further down the path I want to go.

 

You see, each time you set and meet a goal, no matter what it is, you raise that bar just a little bit. You're forced to leave behind the comfort of the familiar old you and push yourself to keep going beyond. It's scary and exhilarating all at the same time. And that's where I am.

 

I want to thank everyone who supported me through this past year, especially the faithful readers of this blog. It's meant a lot to me. 

Comments

[SeaBreeze]

Dara - I've read your blog for a few weeks now and wanted to say that you're spot on today. For many people its not the fear that we are incapable but the fear that we are powerful beyond measure that holds us back. Everytime you go past a limit you've set for yourself you have to redefine your sense of self and what you're able to do.

[Sagan]

This is an excellent point. The expectation to maintain what you've achieved and continue to succeed can be very scary!

[Dara Chadwick]

Thanks, SeaBreeze and Sagan, for the kind words. I'm glad to hear the post resonated with you...pushing past limits can be scary business, indeed.