Fit In Real Life

'We're All In This Together'

Yes, it's true: I have that cheesy High School Musical song stuck in my head this morning. But the fact that I can't stop humming its annoying chorus has me thinking about what those words actually mean. When it comes to making healthy changes -- come on, you knew I was going to try to make a connection here -- we are all in this together.

It's one of the most valuable lessons I learned during my year as Shape magazine's Weight-Loss Diary columnist: To successfully make lasting changes requires the support of those around you. That doesn't mean everybody in the house has to go on a "diet" (I hate that word!) or vow to exercise two hours a day like I did. But it does mean that family support is crucial to developing habits that stick.

What we've discovered in our house is that once everybody commits to certain principles, like "French fries are a once-in-a-while treat, not an everyday side dish" or "We're all going to do a physical activity that we love, whether it's walking or some other active endeavor," those big changes that once felt so impossible quickly become new healthy habits. Knowing that, I was thrilled to see this story about weight-loss camps that now involve a kid's entire family.

Knowing that "We're All In This Together" (Are you singing it yet?) has helped our family commit to the changes that are most important to us: Better eating most of the time, with occasional treats built in, and increasing our daily physical activity -- simple steps to living a healthier life.

Have a safe and happy holiday weekend as we say, "So long" to summer.

A (Painful) Promise Kept

Yesterday, I decided to go slow and heavy for my leg workout during my strength-training session. I haven't done that for a while and I'd forgotten how hard it is (If you've never tried slow and heavy, it's pretty much what it sounds like -- you use a heavy weight combined with reeaally slow repetitions to eliminate momentum...picture squats and plies in slow motion.). It's one of those workouts that doesn't feel that hard at the time, but you're fairly sure it's going to hurt later.

And it did.

The problem was I forgot that I'd promised to go for a bike ride with my kids. So when afternoon rolled around, my son popped his head into my office and said, "We're still going on that bike ride, right?" And I was suddenly forced to consider that age-old question: What will hurt worse -- my already-exhausted quads burning as I pedal uphill or a serious case of mom guilt?

Ten minutes later, I was rolling my bike out of the garage. It's been a long time since I've done a double session, but hey, my thighs will thank me for it, right?

Besides, I had last night to recover -- just me and my ibuprofen.

It's All In The Packaging

Love 'em or hate 'em, 100-calorie packs are here to stay. Are you a fan? Environmental and cost issues aside, I do like the idea of using pre-packaged items to control calorie intake. After all, a pre-measured package is an easy way to keep track of how many calories you're consuming. But as with many good ideas, it turns out that how we think about these pre-measured treats determines whether they're used for good -- or not -- as part of an overall healthy eating strategy.

I've sure been there. I've popped open a 100-calorie pack of Chips Ahoy cookies (Melissa, if you're reading this, feel free to skip this paragraph) as an afternoon snack, scarfed the whole bag and then thought, "Those were good...and only 100 calories. I think I'll have another pack." Before you know it, a 100-calorie snack can quickly become 300 or 400 calories (not that I've, ahem, ever eaten four bags in a row!). If it reaches that point, "snack regret" quickly comes on. After all, if I'm going to eat a 300-calorie treat, I'd be better off going all out with my all-time favorite: A Snickers bar. I'd enjoy it much more than cookie shavings.

But enough about me and my junk food obsession...

Still, it does my heart some good to know that I'm not the only one who's fallen victim to the small package mentality. Check out this study that found that people tend to be more likely to eat high-calorie snacks when they come dressed in a small package.

This year -- with school lunches upon me -- I've decided to make my own pre-packaged treats. Healthier cookies and brownies (Cooking Light magazine has some terrific recipes) can be easily wrapped and frozen individually for a nice lunchbox treat or afternoon snack.

The key, of course, is stopping at one. But that's a post for another day.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

A heated debate has been raging in our house this week about the use of the term T-LAG. As we sat down to a post-baseball practice dinner of pizza, my husband launched into an explanation of the mechanics of throwing, describing the motion that helps boys avoid T-LAG.

"T-LAG?" I asked. "What the heck is that?"

"You know," he said. "T-LAG. Throwing like a girl."

Oh no he didn't!

I glanced over at my daughter -- a fast-pitch softball player -- and the look on her face said it all: Eyebrows raised, mouth set in a tight line. Her Dad saw it, too, and quickly back-pedaled, explaining how female anatomy leads girls to throw in a certain motion.

Keep digging it, buddy, I thought, now feeling highly entertained by the whole spectacle.

My dad, who happened to be visiting, tried to jump to my husband's defense by talking about how much trouble male baseball players have hitting off a female fast-pitcher because they're not used to that kind of throwing.

That's it, Dad. Jump in the hole with him.

Of course there are anatomical differences between men and women, and those differences sometimes play themselves out in sports and in the gym. But if you watched any of the recent Olympic competition in softball or track and field events, I'm sure you know what I mean when I say that some of the men I know probably wish they could T-LAG.

Measuring My 'Success'

As I approach the one-year anniversary of the end of my time as Shape magazine's Weight-Loss Diary columnist -- and, boy, that went fast! -- I can't help but wonder what the scale says today. I know...really, it's not important. Not buying a scale for my house was a conscious decision I made to release myself from a full year of being obsessive and fixated on a number. Honestly, that's no way to live.

We were chatting a few days ago over at MizFit's blog about maintaining weight loss. Lots of readers commented that maintaining can be tough because it just isn't as "sexy" as losing. When you're working hard to lose weight, every pound down is a thrill. When you're maintaining, it's all about jumping on the scale and seeing the needle not move. Not quite the same, eh? But every once in a while, I'm reminded of just how far I've come. Let me share...

Last week, the kids and I went to a party and among the guests was a family that used to live near us. I hadn't seen them in well over a year, and I'd forgotten that they hadn't seen me, either. "Shocked" doesn't begin to describe the look on my friend's face. "You look fantastic," he said. "You've lost a ton of weight!"

"Not quite a ton," I told him. "But quite a bit."

We laughed and I have to say I felt really uplifted by that little exchange. Compliments are always nice, of course, but more importantly, it was a great reminder of the major changes I've made -- and the results they've produced. It's easy to forget how much work it took to create my healthy habits.

A little reminder now and then is great motivation to keep going.

The Tough Questions

Sitting with my daughter the other night, watching some silly entertainment wrap-up show, a brief piece came on about female Olympic athletes...specifically, female Olympic athletes who'd chosen to pose for Playboy magazine's "Women of the Olympics" pictorial. We watched together in silence for a few minutes, then my daughter turned to me and said, "Why would they do that, Mom?"

I'm a pretty open-minded mom who doesn't back away from any subject -- I prefer that my kids get their answers from me and I've answered some doozies already in my time as a parent -- but I'll confess that this one stumped me. "I don't know," I told her.

We talked a bit about female empowerment -- you know, the old "it's my body and if I'm controlling how it's presented, and benefiting from it, then I'm in charge" argument that some women have used to justify their choice to become strippers or prostitutes or anything else that requires them to put themselves forth as sex objects. We also talked about objectification and how it can be very demeaning to put yourself in a role where others are invited to judge you solely on what you look like, or on their fantasy of you.

First, the empowerment argument. Check out this piece from ESPN.com by writer Laura Boswell. Then, for another perspective on objectification, read this piece written by Caroline Heldman for Ms. Magazine.   

In the end, I told my daughter that many female athletes are rightfully proud of their bodies and the hard work they put into them...and that opportunities like Playboy pictorials offer them money to pay for their training, as well as opportunities for more media exposure (no pun intended) that will continue to bring in more fame and money. But we also talked about the price of such fame -- and whether you'd rather be famous for winning an Olympic medal for your hard athletic work or be famous for what your body looks like...because when they see those pictures, some people might not care or remember that you're a world-class athlete. To them, you might be just another naked woman.

I'm curious: What would you all have said?

'These Are Good, Mom'

Yesterday, when my son went into the pantry looking for a snack, he returned with a whole-grain cereal bar from the box I bought a few days ago. "These are good, Mom," he said casually, after ripping open the wrapper and taking a big bite.

"Those are awesome," my daughter chimed in. "Hey, you didn't take the last one, did you?'

What?! Do my ears deceive me or are my children fighting over a healthy snack?

Pardon me while I revel in this miraculous moment...OK, I'm back. I know I'm being a bit dramatic, but I can't tell you how the thrill of victory runs through me when I get my kids to eat something healthy and admit that they like it. For years, my picky eaters have turned up their noses at anything that looks remotely nutritious. And let's not even talk about what happens when I utter the words, "It's good for you."

So when my son asked, "Are these cereal bars good for you?" I hesitated. "Umm...they're OK," I said.

As he walked away, munching happily, I realized that a little deception can be a very good thing. I'm not one of those hide-the-veggies-in-the-chocolate-cake moms, but hey, I don't have to disclose all the nutritional facts, do I? Better to let them think they're still being a little bit bad.

"These are good, Mom." -- Maybe there'll come a day when I hear that after he takes a big bite of vegetables.

Hey, a girl can dream, right?

Great Stolen Moments In Exercise

Yesterday, I wrote about my frustration and disappointment when Monday's evening workout plans fell through. But because I'm all about the yin and yang, I have to share what happened last night. My husband and son were off at football practice, leaving my daughter and I with an evening to ourselves. She made a beeline for the computer, as any self-respecting 12-year-old would, but when I grabbed my sneakers, she said, "Where are you going?"

"For a walk," I told her. "And I'm hoping you'll come with me."

"OK," she said, leaving me slack-jawed. In the immortal words of Staples: That was easy.

A few minutes later, we were out the door on a two-mile course. We kept a pretty brisk pace; she even ran ahead a few times, though I just wasn't feeling the running last night (I know, I know -- I said I was going to bump up my intensity). When she wasn't running, she fell in step beside me, chatting happily about the day's events and the upcoming school year. We talked and laughed about everything from boys to lunch boxes to teachers.

I won't lie -- it's been a looong summer of refereeing fights between her and her brother, finding things to keep everybody occupied, just generally staving off the "I'm bored" looks, sighs and whines, and -- oh, yeah -- working. I genuinely enjoy the company of my kids -- they're both smart and funny and pretty cool -- but by the end of summer, we're all ready for school to start again.

This late summer walk was an increasingly rare opportunity for the two of us to head out on our own, without a mission or a goal. And by the end, I wasn't just feeling the glow of keeping up our brisk pace -- I was also feeling the warmth of reconnecting with my kid.

School starts in a few more days. I miss her already.

Foiled!

Don't you hate it when your exercise plans don't work out?

Mondays are my dance class day and I was feeling pretty crummy yesterday, so I decided to strength train in the morning and skip cardio, knowing that I had class (and I'd probably be feeling better) later that evening. So I was completely annoyed when I drove to the dance studio last night, only to find the lights off and the door locked. I'm not sure what happened, but our class was cancelled and nobody told us. I wasn't the only one who didn't know -- another class member showed up, too.

That, in a nutshell, is why I prefer working out in the morning, even though I often need lots of coffee first. When the workout gets done first thing, the chance of schedule snafus, sick kids, unexpected events and even "I'm tired and I just don't feel like its" is greatly minimized. Yesterday's mix-up left me unexercised and by the time I drove home, it was getting too dark to walk safely.

Oh, well...at least I got my strength training in. But it was a good reminder that when the opportunity to work out presents itself early, I should probably seize it -- and think of any later activity as a bonus.

Are You A Pusher?

Watching the Olympics this week -- and seeing all these athletes push themselves to the absolute limit -- has got me thinking about the quality of my own workouts. My goal for August was to up the intensity on all my routines, including lifting heavier weights, adding reps or sets, adding running intervals to my walks and generally pushing myself to go a bit beyond.

But here's my dirty little secret: I don't like to push myself. I very much enjoy my comfort zone.

So here's what I'm wondering...when is it worth it to push yourself? And when is it OK to say, "I'm just fine where I am?"

I've been really pondering this a lot because my son has just started playing on a new sports team that's quite challenging for him. Being on this team will definitely bring his game up to another level, but it'll require a push and a stretch from his comfort zone. And as I gave him the "you can do it" pep talk and encouraged him to keep striving and pushing himself to get better, even though it's scary and hard and exhausting, one thought popped into my head.

You hypocrite.

General laziness aside, part of what's so comfortable about the comfort zone is that it allows us to avoid risking failure. We don't have to face the possibility that we might do our absolute best and still not reach the goals we set for ourselves. But is that really the end of the world? One look at this face tells me it isn't. The headline may read 'settles,' but the facial expression is all victory...and the maturity of knowing that sometimes, our best effort still might not get us to our goal. The victory is in the striving itself.

So this week, whenever I feel the urge to resist the push, I'll think of her and of my son, and feel inspired.