Creepy Messages (And Other Ways We Hurt Our Girls)
By now, you've all probably heard about the Olympic lip-synching brouhaha, in which one little girl's voice was used during the opening ceremony, while another "prettier" little girl was sent out in her place to be the public face in front of the voice. Chinese politics and other assorted issues aside, I can't stop thinking about how this will affect that little singer in the years to come. Yes, she's seven and I'm sure many people are thinking she'll soon get over the sting.
She won't.
The hurt may fade over time, but I suspect that for the rest of her life, every time that girl looks in the mirror, she'll see a face that isn't good enough...ugly, even.
Sigh.
Once again, this incident implies to girls and women across the globe that you can be successful -- have a beautiful voice, be an elite athlete, run a profitable corporation or raise a healthy, loving family -- but if you don't have the "look," you're not all you could be. You're not quite good enough. And how about the message sent to the "pretty" girl? That all she's got going for her are her looks?
Sigh again.
In other creepy message news, I came across a story yesterday about preteen girls getting bikini waxes (check this out to see what I mean). What was most disturbing about the story, though, was the implication that mothers are driving this "trend." To me, there's a big difference between a child who comes to you, asking for help in dealing with something that she's uncomfortable with, and a mom who takes action on her own, clearly implying that her daughter has some defect that needs to be addressed. If a girl can't count on her mom to tell her she's normal and beautiful just the way she is, who can she count on?
That's awful! The girl with the voice is cute too!
Posted by: Girl on Top | August 15, 2008 at 07:55 AM
I was just reading about a 15 year-old who got a breast reduction because her teachers complained that her breasts were disrupting the classes (?!?!?!). Along with the reduction, her mother had her get lipo, because the women in their family have a stomach pooch, and she doesn't want her daughter to have body image issues.
Yeah. That works.
We are seriously messing up our girls!
Posted by: Alyssa | August 15, 2008 at 12:59 PM
As a father of a daughter - I agree. Do we have different expectation for boys and girls? Yes. And that is - yes in a bad way. Girls are bombarded by "looking pretty", "being attractive", "being the right size", etc. Boys - not really heard too much. It's more are they strong, confident, assertive, etc. Shouldn't these be the same qualities we seek for girls as well? In fact, those are the beliefs we share with our daughter (as well as our sons). But it's still easy to say a remark (from me) that fits the stereotype of girls - and that's wrong. I think it's because we see it so much, that it has become accepted. I want the best for my daughter - in a world that values vanity over integrity... This is a tough issue. Thanks for highlighting it. We need to give this subject much attention.
Posted by: Lance | August 16, 2008 at 06:11 AM
blogging baby had a snippet (I dont think this is your link above?but my computer is rebelling and wont go to msnbc!) about a MOM bringing a 6 year old in (girl) to have her BACK WAXED because the MOM was embarrassed.
no.
words.
Posted by: MizFit | August 17, 2008 at 03:50 AM
Kaolee, I agree -- the world should have seen who was behind that beautiful voice.
Alyssa, that just makes me want to cry.
Lance, thanks for stopping by and sharing a dad's perspective with us.
MizFit, the article I linked to did mention a mom who had her little girl's back waxed. I agree -- no words on that one.
Posted by: Dara Chadwick | August 18, 2008 at 06:21 AM